like crabs, but itchier

Me: I turn 28 next week. I’m very close to giving up on dating entirely.
Tom: Have you considered prostitutes?
Me: I don’t want to catch something!
Tom: You know, sometimes when we think we’re afraid of venereal diseases, what we’re really afraid of…is love.
Me: love is the worst STD there is

wishlist

Just so’s ya know, I do have an actual blog post in the works. A real one that isn’t just me bitching about things. It is actually requiring research, people. I am researching for my blog post.
So as a placeholder until then, here’s what’s on my favorites list on etsy:
Mini-Gnome in Pine Cone. It rhymes! [...]