i need to relax maybe

I can not even begin to explain how much I hate people who are flakey. I’m starting to be concerned that I really need to chill more, because I seriously see red at times when a phone call isn’t returned, or when people show up to a party waaay late without letting me know. Am [...]

thank you, editors

Last week on Top Chef (which I’m just watching now), Stefan voiceovers “I’m a VERY smart guy.”
CUT TO: Stefan hacking open a can of Spam with a giant knife, attempting to pull the meat out of the can with the same knife, and managing only to flick a wedge of processed meat onto the floor.
Yes [...]

the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show

Cheryl: I was supposed to be resigned to rodent spinsterhood

me: I’m exactly the same
except with cats
which I don’t even have!
some day..

Cheryl: yes
I am currently rodentless, but I definitely was getting myself used to the idea of surrounding myself with them in my spinsterly old age
me: you should get [...]

yeeeaaaah…

So, hope I didn’t freak anyone out with that bout of desperation. I swear it’s passed.
The thing is, and I’ve had time to figure this out because pretty much any time that I’m not teaching I’m stuck in my own head, is that this is really the first time that I’ve had a long stretch [...]

what i would say to myself at 12-17 if i had a time machine

First of all, go to your parents right now and tell them you are more than just “sensitive” and in fact need something to make you stop crying all the time.
It is not your fault.
Despite your convictions, you are not being judged. Trust me, your parents won’t love you less if you get a B. [...]

modestly has always been my best feature

I had never been dumped by anyone until my sophomore year of college. And even though the guy was a tool, and I didn’t really care for him all that much, and I knew he was cheating on me, it still crushed me. I sobbed, loudly, in front of friends, which was also new — [...]