why you should always read the FAQs

A funny short story, told through forum posts.

ew

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but wild turkeys often stroll across the land behind my parents’ house. This spring there are loads of males, and they’re pretty much presenting to the ladies all day.
Now, when a tom turkey presents, his wattle fills with blood, making it that bright red color. The flap on their [...]

i love making new euphamisms, too!

Due to my own political ignorance and laziness, I have spent years wondering “Don’t those have political significance or something?” whenever I see someone wearing a keffiyeh. But I also thought “Ooh, pretty scarf! If everyone else is wearing them, why can’t I?” so during my last trip to Scotland there was a ubiquitous shop [...]

i love making new acronyms!

There are certain songs and even whole bands that have been tainted by Negative Ex-Boyfriend Association for me. “Float on” by Modest Mouse stirs up memories which, like Turkish coffee, are better left unstirred. Likewise with “Road to Joy” by Bright Eyes. I was worried for a while that Bright Eyes might be entirely ruined [...]

why there’s nothing interesting here

To save money, I’ve stopped having a life!
Also, I’ve been distracted by some websites. Namely, Hot Chicks with Douchebags and Photoshop Disasters have been added to the growing list of ways I waste time on the internet.
You know what’s weird? Even though I am supposedly making more money, and paying less in bills, I’m still [...]