word nerd

So I realized this last week (when drunk) (shut up) and I need confirmation.
OJ’s book “If I Did It” should be called “If I Had Done It” because it’s talking about an actual past event and therefore requires the 3rd conditional and not the 2nd.
Am I right? Ladies? Fellas?
See, this is why I shouldn’t talk [...]

dear internets..

Last weekend was Julie and Tom’s wedding, and it was great. I got to see a lot of my friends from college, and spent a really busy weekend with some great people. The only thing I regret is that I don’t have more friends nearby that I can spend time with. Even though I have [...]

well, geez

lists@mcsweenys.net to me
Hi Karen -
Thanks for the look, but we’re going to pass on these.
Best,
Chris

the list keeps getting longer..

I need someone to make me bento lunches every day. That would make my life 1000 times better. Because this? It would brighten my day.
Who has time for this? I’d need to start taking drugs just to fit the extra hours in the day.

true or false it may be

I have a sick love of the sound that ice makes clinking in a glass. It’s an angry, self-inflicted type of love.
I am so going to enjoy being an old cougar when the time comes.

think i should submit this to mcsweenys?

Ways to leave subtle hints which would let
your former girlfriend know that you
are seeing someone, to save her the embarrassment
of many late-night drunken emails of desperation and
countless hours of wondering if she missed
out on her one chance at happiness
1. So, I was spending the weekend with my girlfriend..
2. Here are some photos [...]

i’m the reason waterproof mascara was invented

Ya’ll, I’ve been having a really rough week. But I think that when I get to the end of all this, it’ll be for the best.
But you know what sucks most about being a teacher? I can never have a bad day. I have gotten really good at bottling all my stress up from 9am [...]