i think this line is mostly filler

So, I got tired of looking at my rant from last week. I actually wrote that at work, then realized how upset I was making myself so I hid in the bathroom for a wihle to get it all out and make sure my crying wasn’t noticable. Then they had an ice cream party, and [...]

coming equals body equals death

I hate my body so much. I hate this stupid sack of flesh that will never be tomorrow what it was yesterday. I’m taking so much joy in being miserable that I’m starting to look forward to drinking, to a pill addiction, to hurting myself and loving every evil second. I hate this fucking cage [...]

beat me out of me

There are certain parts of the Bay Area that I simply cannot return to. Namely, Palo Alto. This city is taboo for me, because every time I head in there I run into somebody I’d rather not run into.
I wasted a large part of my life in Palo Alto, and made friends with a lot [...]

childhood

A good indication that my “inappropriate” sense of humor started early was on a cruise my family and I took around Costa Rica (it was awesome: very small boat, small crew of locals, good food). A woman traveling alone on the trip had become friends with our family and enjoyed entertaining me and my sister. [...]

and now you’re older still

Maybe one of the reasons I’m having such a hard time feeling comfortable in my own skin is because I never thought I’d live this long. Somehow while growing up I began to get the feeling that I would never grow old, that my life would simply end somewhere after college. Maybe that’s why my [...]

here’s some truth

As of 10am this morning, I weigh 174 lbs. That is the fattest I have ever weighed. Last I had checked, which was probably around this time last year, I was at 155. Where and when this weight came from, I’m still not entirely sure.
As of last week, I became a member of 24hour Fitness. [...]